A few weeks ago the husband, M, and I were sitting the Stake President's office making nice small talk wondering who was getting what calling. "Kayce, we'd like to ask you to speak in Stake Conference in two weeks." Relief. It didn't matter what he said next. Topic: charity. More small talk. "Any specific direction you'd like me to go?" I finally think to ask realizing charity is a HUGE topic. "Charity in marriage" he replied. I was on such a relief high (last time we were in that office the husband got put into the Elder's Quorum presidency...well, 2 times ago, last time he was released because I was just called to be the Relief Society president. Hope that helps you understand the level of relief I was feeling) that I just wrote it down without much thought and off we went. And then on Monday, when I typed charity and marriage into the search on lds.org and my search yielded no results, reality hit. I'm not going to lie, my talk didn't come together until Saturday afternoon (I was speaking Saturday night). But I studied and studied and learned a lot and it came together (the topic, not so sure about the talk?) in a really profound way for me. I can't stop thinking about it. So I'm going to recreate it here for you. I also want to flesh some ideas out that I didn't have time for in the talk, so I'm going to do a few posts so as not to bore you to death with pages and pages of a church talk in one sitting. Feel free to read or not. And it's still applicable if you're not married, this is about relationships here.
The first thing I realized on this adventure was that I really didn't really understand what charity is (embarrassing to admit?). I know it's the pure love of Christ, but what does that really mean? I know that it never fails, but never fails what? I've spent so much time hearing and talking about what charity is not (an organization or merely an action) that I never spent much time thinking about what charity actually is. Come to find out there are a myriad of definitions of charity that helped me understand it's depth and importance. Like any internet savvy girl, I felt compelled to see what Google and Wikipedia had to tell me. Come to find out Wikipedia thinks there are tow types of charity: the practice of charity and the virtue of charity. Interesting. I like to the think developing the virtue of charity leads to the practice of charity, even if Wikipedia means something different. Here are some of the great definitions I found:
1- Charity is the pure love of Christ. Mornoi 7:47
2- "Charity is a gift of the Spirit which must be gained if one is to have salvation" Mormon Doctrine
3- "And above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace." D&C 85:125 uh, wow. Think about that in the context of any important relationship- I want that.
4- "And above all these things, put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness" Colossians 3:14 -so great I had to include it twice.
5- "In Spanish the word chairty menas 'the love that never ceases to be.' In Micronesia the word love translates into 'the power to change lives.'" Barbara B. Smith
6- "Charity is our love for the Lord, shown through our acts fo service, patience, compassion, adn understanding for one another." I forgot to put the citation for that in my talk, if you really want it let me know and I can dig it up.
7- "Charity is 'the pure love of Christ,' or, 'everlasting love.'" True to the Faith
8- "True charity is love in action." Thomas S. Monson
I don't want to say too much about how any of the specific definitions impacted me as I was studying because I hope that they can mean something to you personally as you read them. I don't want to taint your personal application.
Charity never fails because it isn't finite. There's no cap to the love that Christ has for me and there's no limit to my ability to tap into and share that love. It never runs out. Charity can never fail, I can only fail to have charity.
4 comments:
I'll be interested to see where you go with this, heading towards Charity in marriage :)
Interesting (and profound), if we are using Christ's love, it never runs out. My love for my husband is far from perfect, but Christ's love for him is perfect and I have the ability to tap into and share that love? That sortof blows my mind. Thank you for sharing - I can't wait for what's next!
Beautiful! What great thoughts.
I'm so grateful for that infinite love that Christ shares with us and tries to teach us to share with those around us.
"In Micronesia the word love translates into 'the power to change lives.'"
Amen! I have a huge testimony that love has the power to change lives. Love is a huge catalyst for change and motivation. I can't think of an amazing personal experience about this to share right now, but I know deep down in my soul that it's true.
Have you ever read Middlemarch by George Eliot? I read it for my Advanced Writing class at BYU (the whole semester was kind of focused around this book) and spent a lot of time with it preparing to write my end of semester 10-15 page research paper on it. There is a scene in that book that illustrates this that came to mind when I read that definition of charity. There is a couple (Tertius Lydgate and Rosamond) in the book who get married but they really aren't right for each other, but they don't realize it until after they've already tied the knot. At this point in the story they are at a huge impasse in their relationship, unable to communicate with each other in any helpful way at all. The character Dorothea comes in and acts as this savior in their relationship, breaking down the wall they'd built up between each other and building a bridge for them instead through her love and sympathy for each of them. Here's a quote from the book:
"The presence of a noble nature, generous in its wishes, ardent in its charity, changes the lights for us: we begin to see things again in their larger, quieter masses, and to believe that we too can be seen and judged in the wholeness of our character."
Anyway, that's what it made me think of. Dorothea is pretty awesome, and her love for others really does change people's lives in the book.
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