clarity of thought, or wo unto the hyprocites, or my political repentance

The process of writing often helps me realize what it is I really think about something.  When I was a student writing papers it often occurred that I would finish up all 10 pages (why are papers always 10 pages?  And why was that never enough room for me?  Thoughts for another day...), write my conclusion, and then find my real thesis.  The next draft would start with the preceding draft's conclusion as introduction and the process would begin again.  Eventually I figured out what I really thought.

As I been pondered the last angry political post I realized, gasp, that I have some political repenting to do.  And not just about writing about a conversation without first asking the person (sorry sister-in-law's husband!).  I realized, although I think I've known it all along and just chose not to think too much about it, that my attitude is a big fat part of what I see as political problems.  I rant and rave about the blame game and polarization and extreme politics and then I sit on my tush and choose to do nothing.  I distance myself from voters who are willing to actively engage in the political process and stick my tongue out at them.  I won't play until they come to my playground.  I want a political party to look and think just like me before I'll step on board.  But here's the thing, it's never going to look or think anything close to me if I don't dive in and share what I think.  I complain about extreme politics, but people who are extremely conservative and extremely liberal are the only ones voting (hyperbole, I know).  Politicians appeal to the people who elect them.  If I want something different then I need to be loud enough that someone wants to appeal to me. 

So here's my plan: I'm not hiding from politics anymore.  I'm diving in.  I'm going to do something everyday to inform myself.  I'm not going to stop reading or change the radio station because I don't like the way someone is talking about something.  I'm going to push my anger aside and listen.  I'm going to try to see past the extreme way people talk about politics and see what the heart of the matter is.  I know I can't know everything, that's why we live in a Republic, folks.  But I can try to learn as much as is prudent for me in my situation.  And then I'm going to join a party.  And I'm going to vote in the primary.  And by a party, I mean the Republican party.  It's just that it still makes me a little queasy to think about and writing it makes it real.   This does not mean I will always vote strait ticket Republican and it does not mean that I love the Tea Party.  I'm joining this party because I feel it closer resembles me than the other alternatives.  I do plan on being as involved as I can be.  Like (eventually) getting involved at the local level and all that jazz. Because that's where my opinions can really be heard and actually mean something.  I'm going to stop letting other people's votes count for me.  

Maybe this isn't the best place or time, but I still do have issues with the party I'm about to join I need to get off my chest before I make the leap.  The hardest thing for me is that I feel like this party often misses that policy applies to people.  Social issues like immigration, abortion, same sex marriage, and even health care reform are not black and white issues to me.  I don't believe in abortion as a practice, but my heart aches for the woman who can't see another option.  I believe in the sanctity of traditional family, but it hurts when I see people who love each other and are denied basic rights that can be attained through a simple legal contract.  I believe in the law, but I also believe that immigrants are people, most of whom come here with noblest of intentions.  I'm not sure how I feel about health care reform, I do know that I'm an uninsured American and sometimes it sucks.  I don't necessarily disagree with Republican ideas on these issues, I do disagree with the way these issues are talked about.  Would it hurt to have a little compassion and recognize that we're messing with the way people make decisions and live their lives?  Can we acknowledge that these issues are complex and there's more than one side to the story and there might be more than one right answer and that any right answer will probably include compromise?  And can we please take notice that real people with real families live in countries with sucky governments we choose to go to war with? 
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. 

Now that the confession is over, I need your help.  Where do you get your information?  What's your favorite way to stay informed?  I don't have all day to read, but I don't want to only read one perspective either.  Do you have a favorite news station or political blog?  Is there a great podcast I can subscribe to?  Thanks for your help!