a pebble in my shoe

I've been thinking about this off and on since the Monday morning after the General Relief Society Broadcast.  It's been kind of like a pebble in my shoe.  Sometimes it moves around to an empty space and I don't notice it, other times it gets stuck by a toe and I notice a lot. 

I loved President Uchtdorf's talk at the broadcast as much as the next gal.  Sitting in the conference center I diligently wrote down the 5 things I should not forget.  Making special note to remember the "why" of the Gospel, as the Spirit whispered to me that in my checklist driven life, I could definitely use a little more focus on the why.  I thought about how remembering these things could help me improve my discipleship as I had committed to do after listening to Sister Beck.  I felt committed to really remember these five things.  To internalize them.  To truly forget them not. 

By the time Monday morning rolled around all I could see everywhere I looked was the 5 things I should not forget.  "Now, Kayce" you're certainly saying to yourself right now, "that's a good thing, isn't it?  Having a constant reminder of what you said you wanted to remember?"  And I guess you're right.  But here's the pebble: I can't shake the feeling that the talk that inspired so many women had been reduced to nothing more than home decor.  Not even two days after it had been given I could purchase countless different vinyl cuttings of five phrases to put on a freshly painted board and hang on my wall.  Did it even have time to sink in yet?  Was the first thought after the talk to apply the principles to our lives, or to think how cute they will look on the blank spot on the wall?  What font?  What color?  Will I get to purchase a new cricut cartridge?  Will it sell at a boutique? 

I'm not trying to judge or condemn.  I don't think there's anything wrong with giving ourselves visual reminders in our homes of gospel principles.  And I don't think it's bad if these things look nice, either.   We have even been encouraged to have a picture of a temple in every room.  I am a firm believer that what hangs on our walls, sits on our tables, and adorns our shelves, are reflections of who we are and what we value.   I just wonder sometimes if our culture has gotten to the point that the focus is on the craft and not the thing the craft is supposed to remind us of.  I want to do better than that.

An Education On Low Income

During the school year my family is a low income family (side note: sometimes it's still weird to write "my family" and not mean my parents and siblings.  Am I really old enough to have a family of my own?).  During the years of living under this socioeconomic label I've gained a pretty good education of what it means to be "low income," or at least what it means for my family.  And, unfortunately, I feel the need to share my education with a bunch of people who have clearly been miseducated about this label.  Pardon my rant.

Lets start out with some synonyms (I am, afterall, licensed to teach English in the state of Utah).  Low income is not synonymous with low intelligence, low education, low morals, low responsibility, low respect, or low self respect.  According to thefreedictionary.com, the phrase low income is defined as "Of or relating to individuals or households supported by an income that is below average."  Low income should not denote an unwillingness to pay bills or work hard, laziness, the mismanagement of money, the inability to have children on purpose or the knowledge of how to plan a family, bad parenting, bad budgeting, or "mooching."  

In my family "low income" means that we are sacrificing now so we can have a better life later.  It means that our vehicles are 15 and 18 years old, but they don't belong to the bank.  It means that we don't eat out or shop at the mall.  It means that we budget like mad.  It means that we work and save like crazy during the Summer so we can have enough during the school year.  It means that we don't take elaborate vacations or have a flat screen TV.  It means that we live in cheap apartment that we can afford.  It means that we choose not to pay for cable.  It means that I actually read books from the library.  My home is clean.  We pay our own rent.  Our bills are paid on time and in full each month.  We eat healthy food.  We wear clean clothing.  We have fun as a family.  We are abundantly blessed with much more than we "need."  My choice to not work is a choice to forgo some of our wants now so I can raise my daughter.  It is not a choice to be lazy or not take care of my family.  It does not mean I don't respect or desire to use my degree. 


Class dismissed.