Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Hi, my name is Kayce, and I'm not a Republican
A few weeks ago at a birthday party for my husband's grandfather, my sister-in-law's husband (holy smokes that was a lot of family relationships) asked me who I would be voting for in the upcoming Republican Primary. I wrongly told him I hadn't yet decided and then proceeded to launch into all of my political frustrations and anger. I feel kind of badly for the way the conversation went. He had no idea (nor did I for that matter) what was coming when he asked me such a simple question. But I also feel badly that I gave the wrong answer. I told him I hadn't yet made up my mind because I was on political hiatus and knew nothing about anyone. Oops, the correct answer is: I won't be voting for anyone because I won't be voting in the Republican primary. I'm not a Republican. Please don't stone me. At this point in my life I choose to not affiliate with a political party. My ideas are all still young and my frustrations with parties are much too intense for me to make that kind of leap. If it were an open primary, I'm certain I would vote in it. I voted in the Democratic primary in 08 because I could. Please, put your stones down and hear me out here.
One of my biggest frustrations with party politics right now is the big fat blame game. I've come out of my political hiding and started listening to the news again in the mornings when I go to the gym. This is only a small step I know, but it is a step. Let me sum up for you what I heard this morning. Republicans say that every single thing bad that has ever happened since 2008 is a direct result of President Obama. Republicans also say that any good thing that has ever happened since 2008 happened in spite of President Obama. Really, folks? Is this how we're talking about our world now? I'm not in love with President Obama's politics, and I'm not dismissing any blame (anyone else see my blame as ironic in this post?) from democrats. What I'm saying is, WE NEED TO GROW UP! I'm guessing that a large part, maybe even most, of what happened good or bad since 2008 has little to do with President Obama. I hear people saying the President can't create jobs, but they'll only vote for someone who can create jobs. The President has to cut spending and balance the budget, but please don't take away any services or find ways to increase revenue (I get that a lot of money is wasted, but I still think voters are a little ridiculous in their demands here). May the man who stands in front of the most American flags during his campaign speeches win! I don't love President Obama, but I don't think he hates America either.
I hear both parties touting their love for the Constitution and railing the other party for destroying it. I think we've all started using the Constitution as a crutch and a means to make the other guy look bad. We read what we want in it and conveniently disregard the rest. In part of the conversation I had with my sister-in-law's husband he said that he didn't agree with one candidate's stance on abortion or some other social issue like that. (please, don't misread this either, he's a great guy who is very involved and understands the importance of local and legislative politics, I highly respect his opinions). Last time I looked at Article 2 of the Constitution, the President really has little Constitutional power to deal with social issues. Maybe he can talk about it in his State of the Union address (which, by the way, was never intended to be a giant campaign speech, either). He is not granted the power of chief legislator, or America's dictator, or God, or fairy godmother. What he believes will not always come to pass in his presidency (please note that I refer to him and his because I'm lazy. I think a woman president would be super cool and perfectly capable). Honestly, I think it's high time we stop giving the President so much darn credit (good and bad) and see him for what he is, one man in a large government. I think if we put the President in his place as voters then a lot will happen to put him in his place in the government. But that means we have to stop looking at one person to fix all of our problems. It also means we have to stop blaming one person for all of our problems. Maybe that's just too much responsibility to take on.
I wish we could pay this much attention to our local elections and the elections of our representatives and senators who do have real power to deal with things like social issues.. I wish we could stop talking about who is the most conservative and who had an affair so we could find someone to be our president who has a decent head about foreign policy and can be a great Commander in Chief of our military. I wish we could stop looking for someone to fix every single little problem so we could find someone with common sense instead.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Hard Things
I've decided to try something new. Sunday Scriptures. Every Sunday I find myself pondering some great truth that I'm truly thankful for. I feel like my understanding and testimony have been strengthened. And then we get home from Church. And the week starts. And pondering becomes less and less as the week goes on. So this is my attempt to keep a little more. Plus writing always helps me solidify my thoughts and understand what it is I'm really thinking.
In 1st Nephi when Lehi tells his sons to go back to Jerusalem to get the plates from Laban, Laman and Lemuel complain. Lehi reports that they tell him "it is a hard thing which I have required of them," and Lehi responds "behold, I have not required it of them, but it is a commandment of the Lord." And then Nephi comes in all his glory to tell us that no matter what the Lord commands, He also prepares a way that we can keep or accomplish the commandment (1 Ne 3:5-7). I've read this passage of scripture A LOT of times and in the past I've always thought Lehi was just telling Laman and Lemuel to buck up and be men. If the Lord commands it, it means it's not hard. After all, He even provides a way to accomplish it.
Last week when I read this scripture, and then again when it was mentioned in Sunday School yesterday, I realized how wrong I was. Lehi never denies that what is being asked is hard, he only corrects the misunderstanding that it was him doing the asking. Nephi never jumps up and down and shouting for joy that the Lord has asked one more easy thing of them. He never even says that the Lord will make it easy, he only says the Lord will make it possible. As I've continued in First Nephi I've been noticing how many times a bunch of stuff happens and then it says that it all came to pass while Lehi was living in a tent. I think that's included so we realize that what they were doing wasn't easy, it was hard! Over and over the Lord asked hard things of Lehi and his family. They lived in tents wandering in the wilderness. They didn't know where they were going. They left their home and friends. They were hungry. They had babies IN THE WILDERNESS LIVING IN TENTS. Nephi had to build a boat, he had never done that before. They all had to be brave enough to get on the boat Nephi built even though he had never built a boat before.
It's easy to get down on Laman and Lemuel and think they're just a bunch of whiners who were too wimpy to leave their cushy life in Jerusalem. But when I think about it, I probably would have whined too. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten all violent and tried to kill my brother, but that's for another day. The point is, the Lord asks us to do hard things. And when He does, we have two choices. We can either whine and ask why life is so hard, or we can have faith and ask the Lord for understanding. Every time Nephi prayed to understand a prophesy or a commandment, he received an answer. His faith never faltered through the hard things because he asked the right questions. "I can do hard things" is a pretty common saying, but I don't think I can do hard things. I think with enough faith and the help of my Savior I can do all that He asks of me, together we can do all things.
In 1st Nephi when Lehi tells his sons to go back to Jerusalem to get the plates from Laban, Laman and Lemuel complain. Lehi reports that they tell him "it is a hard thing which I have required of them," and Lehi responds "behold, I have not required it of them, but it is a commandment of the Lord." And then Nephi comes in all his glory to tell us that no matter what the Lord commands, He also prepares a way that we can keep or accomplish the commandment (1 Ne 3:5-7). I've read this passage of scripture A LOT of times and in the past I've always thought Lehi was just telling Laman and Lemuel to buck up and be men. If the Lord commands it, it means it's not hard. After all, He even provides a way to accomplish it.
Last week when I read this scripture, and then again when it was mentioned in Sunday School yesterday, I realized how wrong I was. Lehi never denies that what is being asked is hard, he only corrects the misunderstanding that it was him doing the asking. Nephi never jumps up and down and shouting for joy that the Lord has asked one more easy thing of them. He never even says that the Lord will make it easy, he only says the Lord will make it possible. As I've continued in First Nephi I've been noticing how many times a bunch of stuff happens and then it says that it all came to pass while Lehi was living in a tent. I think that's included so we realize that what they were doing wasn't easy, it was hard! Over and over the Lord asked hard things of Lehi and his family. They lived in tents wandering in the wilderness. They didn't know where they were going. They left their home and friends. They were hungry. They had babies IN THE WILDERNESS LIVING IN TENTS. Nephi had to build a boat, he had never done that before. They all had to be brave enough to get on the boat Nephi built even though he had never built a boat before.
It's easy to get down on Laman and Lemuel and think they're just a bunch of whiners who were too wimpy to leave their cushy life in Jerusalem. But when I think about it, I probably would have whined too. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten all violent and tried to kill my brother, but that's for another day. The point is, the Lord asks us to do hard things. And when He does, we have two choices. We can either whine and ask why life is so hard, or we can have faith and ask the Lord for understanding. Every time Nephi prayed to understand a prophesy or a commandment, he received an answer. His faith never faltered through the hard things because he asked the right questions. "I can do hard things" is a pretty common saying, but I don't think I can do hard things. I think with enough faith and the help of my Savior I can do all that He asks of me, together we can do all things.
Friday, January 27, 2012
I've Got It, Yeah Baby I've Got It
Writer's block. Or, blogger's block. Or, when I want to write I can't make time and when I have time I can't write block. Whatever it is, I've got it bad. So today I'm participating in no-delete-Friday (idea stolen from here). Whatever I write I'm posting and I don't care. And I'm writing whatever comes to mind. So there. Sounds like a high school writing exercise. I guess those darn teachers really do stuff for a reason.
Dang it, I just failed at no-delete-Friday. I did it again. Here I go, for reals this time. I have no idea what's going on in the election right now. I'm disturbed by that. I can blame it on not having TV and not listening much to the news on the radio. But really, I could get my info the way 99% of the rest of Americans do. Oh, and I don't get the news paper anymore. But really, I think I'm just fed up. And not with politics and politicians. I'm fed up with people who follow politics. I think voters are getting just as slimy as they perceive politicians to be. I'm sick of all the blaming. People want the government to butt out of their lives but they don't want the government to stop paying for anything. They want the government to control spending, but they won't tolerate cuts in programs or raised taxes (I get that the government can do a lot better managing the money it has, but still, lets get real.) I don't think anything will change until we all grow up. So what do I do? Join the people I'm learning to loathe? Or let them keep being the only ones participating? I guess I should grow up and start participating again.
I wonder what would happen if I treated my body the way I treat my daughter's body. I would eat a million times more fruits and veggies. I would make sure I was getting adequate physical activity and rest. Oh, and I would do it all out of a concern for my health, not the way I look. I'm working on that. I don't want my daughter to see me fussing about weight and pant size and does thsi make me look fat. I want her to see me treat my body well because I recognize it's a gift from my Heavenly Father that I'm extremely grateful for and want to keep healthy.
Some days I wish I had a job. I'm so thankful I get to stay home with M, don't get me wrong. We were watching an episode of Scrubs the other day and JD told the Janitor that the next day he would still be cleaning the same spot on the floor, what the janitor did really didn't matter (way funnier on the show) and I realized sometimes I feel like the janitor. Not that what I do doesn't matter, but that tomorrow you'll find me doing the same dishes, cleaning up the same toys, and changing the same diapers I did yesterday. Some days I think about putting on my nice work clothes, taking them off at the end of the day, and hanging them up still clean in my closet.
I check on M every night before I go to bed. Somehow watching her sleep puts it all in perspective and I go to bed every night feeling unreasonably blessed and content.
I think I'm a perfectionist. Not the kind who wants to do everything right, but the kind who is utterly terrified at making a mistake. I relive conversations long after they happen and I'm certain the other participant has forgotten, but I'm sure I've offended them or said something to make myself look like an idiot. Same thing with writing. Yikes.
I wonder who reads this blog. I know there are 12 of you who are brave enough to admit it publicly, and a handful who even comment. But who are the rest of you?
Ok, I'm done. It felt good to write, random as it was. Hopefully my inability to write was temporary and my brains aren't really leaking out my ears.
Dang it, I just failed at no-delete-Friday. I did it again. Here I go, for reals this time. I have no idea what's going on in the election right now. I'm disturbed by that. I can blame it on not having TV and not listening much to the news on the radio. But really, I could get my info the way 99% of the rest of Americans do. Oh, and I don't get the news paper anymore. But really, I think I'm just fed up. And not with politics and politicians. I'm fed up with people who follow politics. I think voters are getting just as slimy as they perceive politicians to be. I'm sick of all the blaming. People want the government to butt out of their lives but they don't want the government to stop paying for anything. They want the government to control spending, but they won't tolerate cuts in programs or raised taxes (I get that the government can do a lot better managing the money it has, but still, lets get real.) I don't think anything will change until we all grow up. So what do I do? Join the people I'm learning to loathe? Or let them keep being the only ones participating? I guess I should grow up and start participating again.
I wonder what would happen if I treated my body the way I treat my daughter's body. I would eat a million times more fruits and veggies. I would make sure I was getting adequate physical activity and rest. Oh, and I would do it all out of a concern for my health, not the way I look. I'm working on that. I don't want my daughter to see me fussing about weight and pant size and does thsi make me look fat. I want her to see me treat my body well because I recognize it's a gift from my Heavenly Father that I'm extremely grateful for and want to keep healthy.
Some days I wish I had a job. I'm so thankful I get to stay home with M, don't get me wrong. We were watching an episode of Scrubs the other day and JD told the Janitor that the next day he would still be cleaning the same spot on the floor, what the janitor did really didn't matter (way funnier on the show) and I realized sometimes I feel like the janitor. Not that what I do doesn't matter, but that tomorrow you'll find me doing the same dishes, cleaning up the same toys, and changing the same diapers I did yesterday. Some days I think about putting on my nice work clothes, taking them off at the end of the day, and hanging them up still clean in my closet.
I check on M every night before I go to bed. Somehow watching her sleep puts it all in perspective and I go to bed every night feeling unreasonably blessed and content.
I think I'm a perfectionist. Not the kind who wants to do everything right, but the kind who is utterly terrified at making a mistake. I relive conversations long after they happen and I'm certain the other participant has forgotten, but I'm sure I've offended them or said something to make myself look like an idiot. Same thing with writing. Yikes.
I wonder who reads this blog. I know there are 12 of you who are brave enough to admit it publicly, and a handful who even comment. But who are the rest of you?
Ok, I'm done. It felt good to write, random as it was. Hopefully my inability to write was temporary and my brains aren't really leaking out my ears.
Monday, January 9, 2012
What Would You Do?
So I know I promised you some more substantive thoughts after the last post. And I swear I'll get to them eventually. But right now I only have a minute and have a question for you. And I really want you to answer it. Even if I don't know you. I'm really curious. So thanks in advance.
I have a spot on the back of my throat. It's a white one. The kind you get when you have strep. Only my throat doesn't hurt and I certainly don't have strep. Oh, and it's been there for probably close to a year. I've been thinking lately about getting it checked out but I'm not sure. Would you? Is it worth paying a doctor visit when I'm not sick? Is it weird that it's just there and won't go away? Do you have a white spot on your throat and I just don't know? What would you do?
I have a spot on the back of my throat. It's a white one. The kind you get when you have strep. Only my throat doesn't hurt and I certainly don't have strep. Oh, and it's been there for probably close to a year. I've been thinking lately about getting it checked out but I'm not sure. Would you? Is it worth paying a doctor visit when I'm not sick? Is it weird that it's just there and won't go away? Do you have a white spot on your throat and I just don't know? What would you do?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
ocd tendencies
One of my goals for 2012 is to revamp our family budget. I want a more specific budget that is easier to follow and maintain. I've been thinking about a bunch of other things besides money, but there's one big problem with my new budget plan that just keeps butting into my other thoughts. So maybe when I get it worked out (I don't really obsess about it all day, it just keeps nagging) I'll be able to blog about something else. There are some gospel/Christmas/New Year/goal related things I really want to write about but I need the ideas to be a little more solid before I just dive in. I've been surprised since I started this blog how much I really think about gospel related topics. I didn't think I would want to write about it that much, but turns out I want to write about it a lot. Huh.
Ok, so here's my budget dilemma that keeps nagging. It's pretty silly. I've revamped the actual budget template I'm using and I think it's going to be awesome. However, my current budget months do not start on the 1st and end at the end of the month. Pay day around here comes on the same two days of the month each month. So my budget months go from first payday to first payday. It's worked out great. But I've been wondering if I should switch to a regular monthly budget. But then my budget starts when we don't have a paycheck and I still have to grocery shop that week. So then do I have to budget money from the last pay check of last month to roll over to the beginning of this month for groceries? That seems complicated. And an awful lot like I'm budgeting from first paycheck to first paycheck and not from month to month. But once you get on a regular monthly budget is it easier to track? And what about when the husband graduates and gets a different job? I'm guessing payday won't be the same. Will it be a smoother transition to different paychecks if my budget goes from the 1st to the end of the month? It also bugs me that I'm still using my 2011 file right now even though it's 2012. I want to start my new folders fresh with the new year. Not on first paycheck day. My ocd tendencies are starting to run into each other and cause problems. Yikes. I can't really believe I'm so bugged by this I'm actually writing it down. But I'm going to post it anyway. For the sake of writing and having an audience. But I'm going to stop now so I don't make you think I'm crazier than you already do. I'll be back with more substantive topics later.
Ok, so here's my budget dilemma that keeps nagging. It's pretty silly. I've revamped the actual budget template I'm using and I think it's going to be awesome. However, my current budget months do not start on the 1st and end at the end of the month. Pay day around here comes on the same two days of the month each month. So my budget months go from first payday to first payday. It's worked out great. But I've been wondering if I should switch to a regular monthly budget. But then my budget starts when we don't have a paycheck and I still have to grocery shop that week. So then do I have to budget money from the last pay check of last month to roll over to the beginning of this month for groceries? That seems complicated. And an awful lot like I'm budgeting from first paycheck to first paycheck and not from month to month. But once you get on a regular monthly budget is it easier to track? And what about when the husband graduates and gets a different job? I'm guessing payday won't be the same. Will it be a smoother transition to different paychecks if my budget goes from the 1st to the end of the month? It also bugs me that I'm still using my 2011 file right now even though it's 2012. I want to start my new folders fresh with the new year. Not on first paycheck day. My ocd tendencies are starting to run into each other and cause problems. Yikes. I can't really believe I'm so bugged by this I'm actually writing it down. But I'm going to post it anyway. For the sake of writing and having an audience. But I'm going to stop now so I don't make you think I'm crazier than you already do. I'll be back with more substantive topics later.
Monday, December 19, 2011
unfit to donate
I hate throwing things away. One of my favorite things about the town where we live right now is curb side recycling. I'm a huge fan of donating - food, used clothing, whatever. I dream about being amazing at re-purposing. When I do my dishes I ponder over tupperware vs. plastic bags.
This morning I was putting away laundry and realized I have a ton of stuff just hanging out in my closet because I don't know what the heck to do with it. Old layering shirts hang beside their new replacements, and their new replacements. Shoes that have holes in the bottom and haven't been worn since before I was married are gathering dust. I can't make myself throw them in the trash. It seems like such a waste. Am I sick? Am I hording things that are unfit to donate? I wouldn't dare take these things to the D.I. (like Goodwill, in case you don't live in UT). So I'm asking you: what do you do with stuff when it's unfit to donate? Are you an amazing re-purposer? I don't need one more cleaning rag. Help!
This morning I was putting away laundry and realized I have a ton of stuff just hanging out in my closet because I don't know what the heck to do with it. Old layering shirts hang beside their new replacements, and their new replacements. Shoes that have holes in the bottom and haven't been worn since before I was married are gathering dust. I can't make myself throw them in the trash. It seems like such a waste. Am I sick? Am I hording things that are unfit to donate? I wouldn't dare take these things to the D.I. (like Goodwill, in case you don't live in UT). So I'm asking you: what do you do with stuff when it's unfit to donate? Are you an amazing re-purposer? I don't need one more cleaning rag. Help!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
a pebble in my shoe
I've been thinking about this off and on since the Monday morning after the General Relief Society Broadcast. It's been kind of like a pebble in my shoe. Sometimes it moves around to an empty space and I don't notice it, other times it gets stuck by a toe and I notice a lot.
I loved President Uchtdorf's talk at the broadcast as much as the next gal. Sitting in the conference center I diligently wrote down the 5 things I should not forget. Making special note to remember the "why" of the Gospel, as the Spirit whispered to me that in my checklist driven life, I could definitely use a little more focus on the why. I thought about how remembering these things could help me improve my discipleship as I had committed to do after listening to Sister Beck. I felt committed to really remember these five things. To internalize them. To truly forget them not.
By the time Monday morning rolled around all I could see everywhere I looked was the 5 things I should not forget. "Now, Kayce" you're certainly saying to yourself right now, "that's a good thing, isn't it? Having a constant reminder of what you said you wanted to remember?" And I guess you're right. But here's the pebble: I can't shake the feeling that the talk that inspired so many women had been reduced to nothing more than home decor. Not even two days after it had been given I could purchase countless different vinyl cuttings of five phrases to put on a freshly painted board and hang on my wall. Did it even have time to sink in yet? Was the first thought after the talk to apply the principles to our lives, or to think how cute they will look on the blank spot on the wall? What font? What color? Will I get to purchase a new cricut cartridge? Will it sell at a boutique?
I'm not trying to judge or condemn. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving ourselves visual reminders in our homes of gospel principles. And I don't think it's bad if these things look nice, either. We have even been encouraged to have a picture of a temple in every room. I am a firm believer that what hangs on our walls, sits on our tables, and adorns our shelves, are reflections of who we are and what we value. I just wonder sometimes if our culture has gotten to the point that the focus is on the craft and not the thing the craft is supposed to remind us of. I want to do better than that.
I loved President Uchtdorf's talk at the broadcast as much as the next gal. Sitting in the conference center I diligently wrote down the 5 things I should not forget. Making special note to remember the "why" of the Gospel, as the Spirit whispered to me that in my checklist driven life, I could definitely use a little more focus on the why. I thought about how remembering these things could help me improve my discipleship as I had committed to do after listening to Sister Beck. I felt committed to really remember these five things. To internalize them. To truly forget them not.
By the time Monday morning rolled around all I could see everywhere I looked was the 5 things I should not forget. "Now, Kayce" you're certainly saying to yourself right now, "that's a good thing, isn't it? Having a constant reminder of what you said you wanted to remember?" And I guess you're right. But here's the pebble: I can't shake the feeling that the talk that inspired so many women had been reduced to nothing more than home decor. Not even two days after it had been given I could purchase countless different vinyl cuttings of five phrases to put on a freshly painted board and hang on my wall. Did it even have time to sink in yet? Was the first thought after the talk to apply the principles to our lives, or to think how cute they will look on the blank spot on the wall? What font? What color? Will I get to purchase a new cricut cartridge? Will it sell at a boutique?
I'm not trying to judge or condemn. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving ourselves visual reminders in our homes of gospel principles. And I don't think it's bad if these things look nice, either. We have even been encouraged to have a picture of a temple in every room. I am a firm believer that what hangs on our walls, sits on our tables, and adorns our shelves, are reflections of who we are and what we value. I just wonder sometimes if our culture has gotten to the point that the focus is on the craft and not the thing the craft is supposed to remind us of. I want to do better than that.
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